“People don’t listen to hear, they listen to respond.”
A thought that came to my mind today and I felt I needed to quickly speak on.
So after a busy day I went to McDonalds to get me a caramel frappe. At the window I ran into someone that I know and of course I spoke and said, “Hey, how are you?” He responded, “Good” then asked me. I guess people are so use to people not caring that normally the conversation stops there.
So then I proceeded to ask him how the family was, and his response was, “You too” and closed the window. So in my mind I thought to myself, “Huh”. Then I realized that He must’ve thought that I told him to have a nice day. About an hour later I go to the grocery store, and a different but similar situation happens.
While in the grocery store I ran into a coworker from a previous job. I asked her how she was doing and She responded, “Im fine, I cant complain.” I said, “That’s good, but are you really good?” I am all to familiar with saying Im fine when really, I am not ok.
So I asked her if she really was good or if she was just telling me that. She responded, “Honestly I have a whole lot going on, but people don’t care anyway.” I said “Well I asked, and I must care because I am still standing here.” She looked at me and one tear rolled down her face. That one tear mattered to me because that meant she was trying to hold back from crying.
I explained to her that regardless of what she is going through, she is human and it is ok to sometimes not feel ok. I told her that there are some people who genuinely ask because they do genuinely care.
So after these two encounters I reflected back on my life and realized that I often find myself in their same shoes. I say I am fine when I am not because it’s sad to say but people really don’t care or they don’t listen. People listen to respond instead of listening to hear and understand.
Normally people ask how you are doing, you say “Good” or “I’m fine” then the conversation ends with have a nice day. Why are people so programmed this way? I cant speak for everyone, but I personally listen to what is being said to me. I understand that there are people out there who genuinely care. Its not often but we are out there.
On the flip side I understand that there are people who don’t care. I just wish more people would slow down and actually take a second and get back to the real world. Talk to people. People are going through so much. Most people ask and keep walking as they say “Good.”
We get so caught up in what we have going on that we forget that we are not here on this earth alone. We get lost in whatever we have going on, our world. It’s OK to slow down and get back to being a nice caring human being. Those two minutes that you stop and speak to someone can make all of the difference in someone’s day or whatever they have going on.
So before you ask someone, how they are doing, make sure that you have a second or two minutes to actually listen to them. Just a thought that went through my mind.
Before I go, I ask this question, How are you?
As I always say, this is simply my perspective and the thoughts that are on my mind. I never expect for you to agree with me nor will I judge you for your opnion. I do not participate in negativity, drama, or bashing another person. I welcome and enjoy conversation so please leave a comment and lets talk.