“Mama! I can’t breathe”

Todays post comes to you as a black parent of two black sons, a human with love for ALL humanity. I had another post but woke up with something else on my mind, sitting on my heart, that bothers me to my core. Please read with an open mind and understanding.

Anyone that is a parent knows that feeling of sadness and worry when their child calls out for them because they are either sick, scared, sad, angry etc. As a parent the first thing you do is jump into mommy or daddy mode and you do everything in your power to make everything right. All you want to do is fix whatever is wrong with your baby. Those times that you cant seem to fix it, you get upset and angry even more because you as their parent are suppose to fix things.

So I watched the horrible murder of George Floyd, as did the entire world. As I watched this video I couldnt help but cry hysterically because what I saw was a man pleading for his life. I paused it because I realized what I was watching yet again. So as I continued to watch I heard him say something that I am very familiar with and I hear it a million times a day.

What I heard was a grown man yelling. What I saw was a grown man crying in agony. What I saw was a man yelling crying out Mama, Mama. Yes Mama! George Floyd yelled Mama as he cried, begged and pleaded for his life, “I cant breathe”. I’m going to let that sit there for a minute while I stop crying , get myself together and regather my thoughts.

This was a grown man crying and calling out for his mom. We as parents get on our kids last nerve sometime, but one thing I know for sure is that when they need us, they need help, they are sick, they are hurt, they are scared etc, they call out for their mom or dad. Our children call out for us, our children need us.

It makes me so upset and angry to have had to witness this murder just like ALL of the others. The thought that George Floyd could’ve been my son calling out for me, pleading for his life does not sit well with me and makes me so angry and upset. How could a human be treated this way? How could a human being with a pumping heart be treated with no regard for human life?

As a result of yet again another murder of a man that look like my sons, my father, my brothers, my Uncles, my cousins, friends etc, I once again had to speak to my sons about being a black man in america, and getting home safe being their first priority when facing an issue. My son asked me, “Well why did they kill him if he was complying and didn’t resist arrest?” How the hell are you suppose to respond? Then he asked, “Well I thought the police are suppose to protect us?”

Honestly, both of those are questions that I wish I didnt have to talk about, I shouldn’t have to talk about. I had to explain to my son that unfortunately there are bad people out there who do not care about humanity and that because of the color of your skin you are a target for people who do not care about you and have no regard for your black life. I feel like I am taking my sons innocence from them and this breaks my heart.

I cannot get the picture, the sound of horror of George Floyd out of my mind. Mama! Mama, A word that a mother hears all day of everyday because they are hungry or they need help with home work for instance. The entire world heard this grown man call out for his mother for help because he was slowly dying while complying.

If you are human and you have a pumping heart, you care about humanity and the human race, there is no way in hell you wouldn’t be angry at what we all have seen. There is no way in hell you don’t feel this. The image and sound replays in my head. He could’ve been my loved one.

People wonder and ask why we are so angry and we are protesting and rioting. The answer is simple, Enough is enough. We are tired. Protest have turned into riots, looting and burning buildings down because people are angry. There is only so much that someone can take. If you poke a sleeping bear enough, you will awaken a beast. And this is exactly what happen.

Why are the very people who have sworn to protect us, killing us?

So there will be some people that say that they don’t know this feeling because they are not a parent. So I pose this question right here, What if George Floyd was your father, brother, bestfriend, uncle, cousin, etc? What do you do when they are calling out for you and you can’t save them because the people that are killing them are the same people that are suppose to protect them? What do you do when you try to save them and your life is now at risk of being killed as well? What do you do? How do you feel?

I am truly, sad and angry. I am full of so much emotion that some of my words got lost in all that is going on. A human being! In 2020 we are still treating human beings like dispensable garbage. How? Why? Oh how I feel so Angry. I am tired of crying. I sometimes feel helpless. What could I have done to prevent something, somewhere? What can I do to help the next person?

“The next Person.” The sad part about me saying how can I help the next person is that unfortunately there will be a “Next person.” And this right here is why WE are so damn angry! This is why people are protesting, rioting, looting, and burning shit down.

Enough is Enough! Stop killing us! We are human too!

And that right there is some sad shit that is on my mind, from my heart. Signed an angry mother, an angry human!

Say his name #Georgefloyd #justiceforgeorgefloyd

As I always say, this is simply my perspective and the thoughts that are on my mind. I never expect for you to agree with me nor will I judge you for your opinion. I do not participate in negativity, drama or bashing another person. I welcome and enjoy conversation so please leave a comment and let’s talk.